Famous & Not-So-Famous Quotes
Various Authors
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs"
~ Aldous Huxley
"Histories are more full of the examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends."
~ Alexander Pope
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
~ Andrew A. Rooney
"Even consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul: chicken, pork, half a cow, They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
~ Anne Tyler
"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
~ Anonymous
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
~ Anonymous
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
~ Anonymous
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
~ August Strindbert
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
~ Ben Williams
"Our dogs, like our shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
~ Bonnie Wilcox
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
~ Charles Schulz
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does"
~ Christopher Morley
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!"
~ Dr. Tom Cat
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
~ Edward Hoagland
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater ... suggest that he wear a tail."
~ Fran Lebowitz
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
~ Fran Lebowitz
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
~ Franklin P. Jones
"All knowledge, the totality of all questions and answers, is contained in the dog."
~ Franz Kafka, Investigations of the dog
"Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless he's owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest affection with a flick of his tail than a man can gather through a lifetime of handshakes."
~ Gene Hill, The Dog Man
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies"
~ Gene Hill
"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog."
~ George Graham Vest
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
~ Groucho Marx
"I am only one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."
~ Helen Keller
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
~ Holbrook Jackson
"Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery, if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just Tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog."
~ Inscription on the monument raised for Lord Byron's dog, Boatswain
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heave, and very, very few persons."
~ James Thurber
"Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish, a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and carefree as a dog."
~ James Thurber, And So To Medve
"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to his level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his."
~ James Thurber
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
~ Joe Weinstein
"A dog is 'almost human' and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
~ John Holmes
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
~ John Steinbeck
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
~ Josh Billings
"If you want butterflies you must have caterpillars"
~ Kate Ashley
"The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be."
~ Konrad Lorenz, Man Meets Dog
"No matter how little money and how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."
~ Louis Sabin, All About Dogs As Pets
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
~ Mahatma Gandhi
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
~ Mark Twain
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace."
~ Milan Kundera
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
~ Nora Ephron
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
~ Penny Ward Moser
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
~ Rita Rudner
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
~ Robert Benchley
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
~ Robert A. Heinlein
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
~ Samuel Butler
"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
~ Sigmund Freud
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
~ Smiley Blanton
"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
~ Stanley Leinwoll
"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
~ Steven Wright
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
~ Sue Murphy
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
~ Unknown
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
~ Unknown
"If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise"
~ Unknown
"In dog years, I'm dead."
~ Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy you the wag of his tail."
~ Unknown
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
~ Unknown
"Torturing one animal is cruelty. Torturing many animals is science?"
~ Unknown
"Who kicks a dog kicks his own soul towards hell"
~ Will Judy